“Infinite love is the only truth. Everything else is illusion”. David Icke
Never have these words resonated with me more than at this particular time. Only love is real, and yet we often find ourselves in states of anxiety in regards to love. Something doesn’t fit.
When it comes to love, certainly in the case of dating I’ve been taught that we’ve got to play the game, hide our true feelings, don’t show too much, see other people, and act like nothing matters.
I can’t get hurt if I don’t commit right?
You can’t love if you don’t commit.
I’ve given this detached approach a good go for quite some time now, probably a couple of years, and in that time I’ve had a handful of casual flings, and one relatively short relationship.
Open yourself up to giving and receiving love.
What I’ve come to learn, is that you get what you put in. I wasn’t open to it, so why would I expect anything more than something disposable, lacking in depth.
Yes my ‘ego’ could blame the universe all it wanted. I’d call it bad luck, or worse still that I’d lost my touch. The truth is my heart was closed to it, or should I say jammed shut!
It took falling in love again last year to teach me these lessons once and for all. I had to go through all the heartache of not having my feelings reciprocated. I’ve since come to realise I was having my own feelings of inadequacy reflected back at me like a mirror.
The one big take out from this experience was that by covering up of my feelings I had caused myself the most amount of pain. If I had been honest and vulnerable about the whole thing I would have had very little regrets about it now. The truth is, this person never even really knew how I felt, until much later on, and then it was too late.
Love is never about what you receive, but only what you give. All the fear and doubts that get in the way is our way of protecting ourselves, but in actual fact they only serve to keep us from our true nature. One of unconditional love.
Now as I dive deep into heartfelt affection for someone new, something has changed within me. I feel more myself than I have in a long while. It doesn’t even matter the outcome. I love this person and I don’t want there to be any doubt that I do.
I’m a force of nature, and if that scares some people that’s fine with me. Better to scare away the wrong person than continue to hide from myself.
It doesn’t really matter who loves me, as long as I love me!
Now is the time to be unashamedly me.